Sampson and Us
by jaincarte
Summary: A particular camper will do any means neccessary to get attention


Bribe Wars: Hello my name is Maury Povich and welcome to Maury the Jelly Cabin eyes glued to the Slinkman would allow 4 scouts in the cabin each Friday they would usually stumble upon what Slinkman was watching which was either a sex movie involving two or more women of course the Innocent Jellies always brushed by it. Edward walked in the cabin Lazlo:hi edwardo Edward:(Grumble) He sat right next to the quiet and undistubed Clam and snacted the gray remote from Clam's hand which should be nearly impossible considering Clam is the Camp's Chuck Norris having the ability to lift Ms Muscus off the ground and arm wrestling with Grenchen at the same Edward didn't care as usual he was in a bad mood Clam:big idea! Edward:what do you want rhino Iam busy Clam:(pointing at remote)Remote! Edward:oh this one Edward shoved the remote down poor Raj's trunk and walked out the cabin Clam started pacing the floor deciding to beat the living piss out of Edward or help Lazlo carry Raj to the emergency room on the way lazlo grabbed Clam and shook his head Raj(attempting to dislodge the remote from his trunk) Clam:(With Raj on his shoulder)Jerk! Lazlo:I don't think so Clam compared to his usual attitude Clam:Really! Then they soon walked into the doctor's office with 3 squirrel scouts waiting ahead of them they were Patsy,Nina and Gretchen Patsy and Nina were sitting down while Gretchen was waiting in line Clam decided to get in line after Gretchen meanwhile Lazlo decided to talk to the squirrels sitting down Lazlo:Hi Nina Hi Patsy Pasty:(Still looking dowm) Hi Nina:(Also looking down)Hello Meanwhile in line Clam was standing behind Gretchen now Clam also being the Camp's Sherlock Homes looked at Gretchen's skirt noticed it was wrinkled meaning she didn't have time to iron her clothes meaning they came over here in a rush Clam attempt to start a mild conversation Clam:hi Gretchen Gretchen:hi Clam Clam was flabergasted at thought of Gretchen calling Clam by his birth name he didn't know either to be happy cause she did not call him out of his name or sad because he knew something was wrong she has not called him this since she was love sick he countinued the conversation anyway Clam:Problem Gretchen:(looking depressed)Nothing big you can go ahead of me Gretchen knew Clam was strong enough to hold Raj for a few more hours but insisted anyway he walked ahead looking behind seeing Gretchen walk towards her Lazlo filled seat Lazlo got up and went toward Clam _ Pinto Bean Cabin Edward was walking toward the always noisey mess hall and sat right near Sampson and the Loons they were all discussing a movie they plan on seeing Dave:No No No Planet Force is never gonna compare to Greenborgs Sampson:you said that about Aliens Sing! but now its a feature film Both loons were placed on silent mode Sampson:suck on it Edward:(looking bored)Are you done with Nerdfest yet or what Sampson:sorry what did you want a cookie,a soda,a- Edward turned bright red Edward:No! I want a subscription to your mail program After that bullet of words was shot into the air he started huffing and puffing Sampson:Fine but I've gotta warn you most people mail ended up stolen all the privacy gone and can be spreaded to prickly pines news plus there is a activation fee of 100 dollars Edward:What! screw you might as well take the 100 dollars Iam not gonna pay you and blow it out your- Sampson:woah woah chill I was prepared for this if you convince three people I suggest the Jelly Cabin get a newspaper subscription to The Bean I will give a free subscription Edward looked tense eyed at the deal he needed this subscription to commicate with his secret lover he shook hands with Sampson Edward:Deal _ Clam,Raj and Lazlo were sitting in the blue/pink room with colorful kid like paintings of those who visited Nurse Leslie in the past both Clam and Lazlo were fans of kids but not Raj at the moment considered he had a 8 piece of metal lodged in him Clam:Weird Lazlo:Yeah all 3 girls were acting weird (than usual) Maybe Gretchen did not feel like yelling cause of her injury Nurse Leslie:darn hold still you- Lazlo: um Nurse Leslie do you need any help Nurse Leslie walked in the room looking like Freaky Jason with a small tooth in his hand and blood all over his jacket Nurse Leslie:What Clam:Blood Nurse Leslie:oh I was just pulling out little Timmy's teeth Lazlo,Clam and Raj look at the blood stained nurse and started laughing at him but Raj was a little squeaky thanks to the remote Nurse Leslie:what's funny Clam:Well Lazlo:we have a mouth related problem too Nurse Leslie:(Annoyed)what is it Lazlo:Raj ACCIENDENTLY sniffed a tv remote Nurse Leslie:so let me get this straight you idiots manage to get this elephant to inhale a piece of furniture Lazlo,Clam,Raj:(with a grin)yep Nurse Leslie:well lay back Raj and think of marshmallow clouds Raj:oh marshmallows The shark nurse took out a drill tool and started diving in the nose Raj:Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Both Clam and Lazlo shielded there eyes from the horrible metal grinding the end result two pieces of a phillip remote Raj:thank the tusk fairy that's over Lazlo:yep now we got another problem to solve The trio ran into the waiting room and the exact place Patsy was sitting a note was in the spot she sat. The curious Lazlo was the first to pick it up while the other two bean scouts stood over his shoulder Lazlo:(Reading Letter)Dear Potluck I crave only one boy in the cramped town Iam having sexual fantasies about him I know it is kinda weird for a 12 year old to having these problems but please bribe him to love me Sincerely **** The Beans could not distuighes the name it was smudged all three scouts looked at each other and looked heavily at the note then they all looked at each other and looked back at the letter. _ Squirrel Scouts Patsy,Nina, and Gretchen were still in the boat charting them back to the luxurious Acorn Flats all were worn and tired Gretchen:girls it's okay to talk about my CONDITION Patsy:I can't Gretchen it's insensitive Nina:Yeah besides who cares if you have love sickness Gretchen:oh I don't know the boy Iam about to rape if I don't get this sickness under control for god sakes Iam becoming Patsy Patsy:Hey! Gretchen:No Offense Nina:Anyway Iam sure there is a cure for this in my book Cure For Childhood Diseases let's see Cootees,Booger Breath,ah Love Sickness um Gretchen didn't you have it before Gretchen put her thumb and finger on her chin and instantly remembered Gretchen:(Disgusted) yes with that rhino thing Clam Nina:(Looking Down In Book)how did you abtain it and for how long Gretchen:well I bumped heads with Clam and I instantly fell in love with him Patsy and Nina:oh Gretchen:but it lasted for 10 seconds considering the jellies threw some kind of fruit pie at me Patsy:weird what did it taste like Gretchen:shame and anger and a little bit of strawberry The girls started laughing and joking meanwhile a particular newscaster started overhearing the squirrel scouts and started writing the facts in his little notebook laughed and ran away


End file.
